November 22nd, 2009 | By Saint Alvia
Sometimes…. Well all the time when I’m on the road, I have to find ways to entertain myself. It often results in something super random and super retarded. Everyone that has ever had the pleasure of being in a band with me knows this all to well. For the past 15 or so years, my band mates have been my targets, students, partners in crime, and the only ones who will listen. To most of them, I become the bane of their existence. Luckily the guys in Alvia, are still keen to play along.
The latest fascination is with coffee, and the names we’ve come up with for it. In Canada we have a coffee joint called Tim Horton’s. Tim’s is somewhat revered as a National Treasure. For the time being I’ve renamed it as Bob Thayniacs. What I love about Saint Alvia is their loyal willingness to accept these new names, and even embrace them without question. Now coffee; has somehow changed into a “John Brophy”. Why? I have no explanation. That’s what we call them, and that’s what we order them as with no explanation (that’s the fun part). John Brophy was a coach for the Toronto Maple Leafs in the 80’s. Why I chose that name to represent coffee even boggles me….and I don’t really even follow hockey! So as with every nickname, it evolves. It get s abbreviated to just a cup of John, or a “Brophy”. So John, Brophy, or “ John Brophy” proper has now been them term coined for coffee in general. Here are the different incarnations we came up with on the last tour with Bouncing Souls.
John Brophy – General term for coffee
John Candy – when you have a “double cream, double sugar – *because it gets candied
John Smith – a Regular -one cream, one sugar – * because it’s a super “regular name”
John Wayne – Black coffee – * because its fucking nails to drink black coffee
John Doe – when you get coffee at random stop like a gas station -*because you don’t know what your gonna get!
John MacLean – when you have a smoke and a coffee – *bruce willis in diehard
Sir John A MacDonald – when you get a coffee form MacDonalds
John Belushi – When you have like 4 creams and 4 sugars
Johnny Winters – Iced Coffee
John Mcenroe – when you have a super jacked coffee that makes you spazz
We’re open to additions to this list if anyone feels like contributing. yeah, its weird, but the real fun part is when you put these new names into use. Next time you’re ordering a double-double… ask for a “John Candy” instead… totally straight faced, like it’s the only name that it was ever called. Let us know how it goes in the comments section below! (We’ve done it too… we do it all the time.)
- Taylor.